The Space Between

The Space Between

I am having an existential crisis. It started when I returned to Calgary after 6 months in Mexico, finding everything familiar yet nothing the same. This coming back, albeit temporary, was always part of the plan. We are here for the summer to get our affairs in order, tidy up a few loose ends, do one last final purge of the myriad of storage lockers that hold the remnants of our life.

What I didn’t anticipate was the crisis that crept up on me like those 5 pounds over winter. I thought I was doing well, navigating these semi-retired waters with grace and ease. I smiled indulgently at the shared wisdom of those who had gone before, all the while believing my own experience would be different. I would NOT feel like a tiny bird cast out of the nest, disoriented and afraid, predators all around, unable to alter my circumstance because I don’t yet know how to fly.

Oh wait a minute. That’s exactly how I feel. I am by all accounts ‘living the dream’, and yet I do not know what that means. I am stuck in the space between what I can see, both past and present, and what I hope for.

2014-06-19 17.24.08The Space Between is a literal and spiritual point in time, and my blog over the next few months. Unlike ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’, where the protagonist actually FINDS the answer to the meaning of life*, I anticipate it’ll be a little more complicated than that for me. Not that I’m in search of the meaning of life, but I am in search of what life means to me. Mostly I plan to observe others, ask annoying questions, write about what I see, and hope that I learn to fly before that cat gets me.

* spoiler alert, it’s 69

In October 2012, I drove 6,800 kms with my artist husband, Ric Kokotovich (, and my dog Iggy, to spend 6 months in our adopted city of Merida. Leaving the fast paced world of Calgary behind, I packed my books, art and entrepreneurial spirit, and set off to explore what lay beyond the borders that had become my life. In October 2013 we hit the road south again, hoping to find out what ‘living the dream’ really means. This is my adventure.

5 comments on “The Space Between

  1. Can I share your blog site with my fb friends Ali?

  2. Lots of bird imagery in your Calgary posts. . . . might be something to explore? 🙂

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